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agaphey dating etiquette

Please read and acknowledge the following tips and etiquette guidelines:

  • Online dating can often feel like ‘shopping for people’, despite our best intentions. We encourage you to look beyond pictures and read profiles and interact with the Lord during this process – you never know what the Lord can do. Many people end up marrying someone that they never would have thought would be the one for them, and might have discounted too early if it was an online interaction.
  • Treat everyone as a beloved child of God. If you are not interested in talking to someone who reaches out to you (or no longer wish to continue the conversation), honor them by letting them know as soon as possible.
    • A quick message such as  “Hi ______, thank you so much for reaching out. After looking at your profile I can see that we are on different pages in key areas that are important to me and because of this I am not interested in pursuing a conversation at this time, but thanks so much for reaching out.” This may seem harsh but it is much nicer and much more honouring than being ghosted. Clear is kind.
  • A great way to send an initial message is to comment about something in their profile that stood out to you or something that you really liked and ask a question about it. This gets conversation moving and is much better than just sending a ‘hi’.
  • We encourage kind, honouring speech that encourages, uplifts and edifies one another
  • Although we love healthy discussion (especially in our forums),  remember that the enemy doesn’t care if you are right or wrong in your opinion, as long as you will leave the character of Christ in order to express it. Let’s stay in the character and love of Christ towards one another when discussing and interacting.
  • Be patient. It can sometimes take time to get used to interacting online or to meet someone and make a meaningful connection. Just like in real life, dating can be a process. Be patient, keep engaging and stay positive. It only takes one person, one day and one message to change your life. Remember, people are joining every day so your person might not even be on the site yet. 
  • Be authentic, honest and transparent. The goal isn’t to get everyone to like you, but rather to find someone you are compatible with. We know this can be hard online, but you want the person to get to know you, not a version of you. Remember that whoever you had to be to “get” the person is who you will have to continue to be to keep them. They want to know the real you, just like you want to know who they really are.
  • Schedule a video call as soon as you feel comfortable. Face-to-face interaction is a much better way to assess compatibility and see if you are on the same page. 
  • If you have been talking to someone and feel it heading in the right direction, have a conversation to define the relationship and make sure both parties are on the same page. 
  • If you enter a relationship, downgrade your subscription to the content only package
  • Anyone behaving in an unsafe way (using crude or offensive language, sending inappropriate pictures etc. (see Code of Conduct) will be immediately removed from the site.


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